Don’t Try To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You
I know you are here to learn how to make your ex boyfriend miss you like crazy and want you back. But I am here to tell you not to do it.
And there are 3 very good reasons.
First, I don’t want you to end up hurting yourself.
Second, even if you don’t try to make your ex boyfriend miss you, he may still miss you.
Third, just because he misses you doesn’t mean he want to get back together with you.
I know all these may sound confusing to you right now. So let me explain in more details below.
If you have read the other articles on my site, you will know that I discourage my readers from playing mind games and using manipulation tactics to save a relationship.
So the purpose of this article is the same. My hope is to lead you away from playing manipulative mind games that can end up hurting yourself and your relationship.
The Myth Of Using No Contact To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You
Before writing this article, I have actually done quite a bit of research on this topic. Basically, I was just curious. I want to see what other relationship experts were saying.
Guess what I see?
I think you probably know the answer already. 90% of the sites I came across were recommending “The No Contact Rule” to get your ex boyfriend to miss you.
Well, let me tell you the truth.
There is no way you can control when your ex will start to yearn for you. Some people will take a very long time before they start missing their ex, maybe a minimum of 6 months.
Unless you enjoy playing the waiting game, it is probably not a very smart way to get your ex back.
Now of course, there will be people who will start missing their ex after a short period of no contact. So maybe your ex will really start to miss you after around one month.
But there is a question I want to ask you. If your ex really started to miss you, what are you going to do next in order to get back together with him?
There is a reason why I am asking you this question.
You see, a lot of people seem to have this misconception that all it takes for you to get your ex boyfriend back is to make him miss you. People seem to forget that there is a reason for breaking up in the first place.
Even if your ex boyfriend really decided to get back together with you because he misses you, eventually, he is going to leave you again if he realizes that nothing has changed in the relationship and the same old problems are still there.
I suggest that you read this article “What It Really Takes to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back“. Don’t just rely on the passive approach of doing nothing during no contact and expecting that it will miraculously save your relationship when he starts thinking about you. That’s not going to work in a million years.
I know this may not be what you want to hear but I am not here to sugarcoat things. I just want to point out the various possibilities to you so that while you are hoping for the best, you are prepared for the worst as well. At least when things don’t go your way, you will not feel so upset.
Your Boyfriend May or May Not Want to Get Back Together With You
Let’s try to keep things simple here.
I know relationships can be complicated. Maybe your boyfriend wants you back. Maybe he doesn’t. Or maybe he is not sure what he wants right now. Or maybe he will change his mind sooner or later.
But to keep things simple, let us just stick to 2 possibilities.
1. He doesn’t want to get back together.
If your boyfriend has no intention to get back into the relationship, you can use no contact on him for as long as you want and that is not going to make him miss you. In fact, it will help him to forget about you.
Sure, he may think of you from time to time but that is probably not what you are hoping for.
2. He wants to get back together.
If he wants you back, no contact will probably work on him. He will probably start to miss you.
What I am trying to say here is that no contact does not work 100% of the time. There is no easy way for you to know whether your boyfriend has started to miss you.
Also, as mentioned earlier, there is no point getting him back if it is still the same old relationship because he will probably leave you again soon.
The Purpose Of No Contact Is Not To Make Him Miss You
In the first place, no contact is not meant to be used as a tactic to get your ex boyfriend to miss you. NC is supposed to be used purely as a tool for healing. This is because most people will be very emotional just after a break up. Dealing with an ex during this period of time is not going to make the situation better and may even make the situation worse.
Of course, it is very possible that your boyfriend will start missing you after a few weeks of no contact. But as mentioned above, it can also go the other way.
You Will Be The One Getting Hurt If You Resort To Mind Games
You may not like what I am going to say but I am still going to say it.
If you are trying to make your ex boyfriend miss you by using no contact, you are actually playing a mind game, whether you are aware of it or not.
You are actually trying to manipulate your boyfriend. You are actually trying to play with his feelings.
When you are playing this type of mind games, it is going to cause you a lot of mental sufferings. Why is that so?
Well, because in your mind, you will keep on asking yourself whether your boyfriend has started to miss you. You will keep on asking yourself whether the no contact is working. Unfortunately, you do not know the answer.
You see. No contact is supposed to be used as a tool for healing. When you keep on asking yourself whether your ex boyfriend is missing you, how are you going to heal? You are just going to feel worse with all these internal dialogue going on in your head.
That is why I never encourage people to use no contact to get an ex back or to make an ex miss you. No contact is all about you. It is never about your ex.
Your Mindset Makes A Big Difference!
Now, I want to make sure that you understand this very clearly.
There is nothing wrong with No Contact. It is how you use No Contact that makes the difference! It is your mindet that makes the difference!
If you are simply using No contact to heal yourself and recover from the break up without worrying about whether your ex boyfriend is missing you, you are going to feel so much better. In this case, you are not playing games.
If you are using No contact to make your ex boyfriend miss you, you are trying to play games. Because of that, you will find it hard to calm your mind down. Now, your own mind is playing games with you. You are always wondering whether he is missing you and just that thought alone will make you nervous.
Can you see the difference now?
It is the exactly the same No Contact.
But your mindset is going to determine whether you are going to feel better or worse.
Your Boyfriend May Start To Miss You Without You Doing Anything
At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that your boyfriend may start to miss you even if you don’t try to make him miss you.
That is based on the assumption that he still wants you back.
So if you are using No Contact for the right purpose, which is to heal yourself, you may be happy to find that your boyfriend has started to miss after after these few weeks of no contact, especially if you want him back too.
And because you have used No Contact for the right purpose, you are starting to feel better. You have a clearer mind. You will be in a much better position to connect with your boyfriend.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend has no intention to get back with you in the first place, no amount of no contact is going to make him miss you.
In this case, if you are using No Contact for the wrong purpose of making him miss you, you are just wasting your time, not to mention that you will probably feel worse when you realize that No Contact is not working.
Missing You Does Not Mean Want You Back
I find it really weird when some “relationship gurus” say that in order to get your ex back, you need to make him miss you.
Nothing is further from the truth.
There are a few key areas you need to focus on in order to save your relationship. I talked about them in this article. Making your ex boyfriend miss you is definitely not one of them.
After all, just because your ex misses you doesn’t mean he want you back.
Don’t believe me? It is very easy to prove.
If you have been in several relationships in the past, I am sure there are some exes that you do miss from time to time. However, you have absolutely no intention of getting back together with them. In fact, you probably don’t entertain the thought of having a relationship with them again in the future.
There are also many reasons why your ex may start missing you. Maybe he misses the friendship. Or maybe he misses the sex. So if you invite him for a booty call, he will say yes. Committed relationship? No way!
The point I want to drive across to you is this.
You are here probably because you want your ex back. And I am here to tell you that making your ex miss you is the wrong strategy to focus on. You are going to learn a much better approach to get your ex back when you sign up for my newsletter below.
Don’t Get Involved In Their Games
I am guessing that you do not believe in mind games in the first place. Unfortunately, there are so many websites that encourages people to play mind games or use psychological tactics to get an ex back.
Hopefully, you will not get involved in those games. Even if those mind games do work in the short run and help you get your boyfriend back, they won’t help you get to the root of the problems in your relationship.
While I was conducting my research on this topic, I saw so many people posting in various forums, saying that no contact has helped them got their ex back. But you know what? Within a short period of time, they broke up again.
Playing games is definitely not going to help anyone build a long lasting and loving relationship!
Don’t play mind games and use ineffective strategies to get your ex back. You will end up wasting a few months without seeing any result.
If you want to learn the correct strategies to focus on so that you can actually start seeing progress and get your ex back faster, you can sign up for my newsletter below.