Perhaps you have read my previous article about how to show your ex that you have changed.
But here’s the problem.
What if you don’t even have the chance to meet your ex?
At least that’s a question one of my readers asked me recently.
I believe many people are struggling with this issue as well. So I decided to write this article to answer this question.
What If Your Ex Doesn’t Want to Meet You
Maybe you are now a much better person but how can you show him your new self when he doesn’t even want to meet you.
Well, it is not unusual for someone to be hesitant about meeting their ex, especially just after a breakup. There can be many reasons for that.
Maybe it has got nothing to do with you. It is just that your ex tends to be avoidant.
Maybe you have indeed done something to push him away out of desperation.
Regardless of the reasons, understand that this is not a permanent situation. In other words, your ex probably won’t refuse to meet you forever.
You just need to know that there are 2 main factors that will lower your ex’s resistance towards you.
The first factor is how you reach out to them and the second factor is time.
How You Reach Out
First, check in with yourself. Have you done anything that increases his resistance towards you?
One very common mistake is sending a super long letter to your ex, expressing all your thoughts and feelings. That can be very overwhelming for your ex, which causes him to avoid you.
If you are absolutely sure you have not done anything that pushes your ex away, then you just have to be patient.
Be patient. If your ex is only willing to engage with you over text, so be it.
Obviously, if your ex seems very cold, always giving you a one or two sentences reply, then it is probably not the right time to ask for a meetup.
However, once your ex started opening up with you over text message over a period of time, you can start planning for it.
Be creative in your approach. Maybe you happen to have a class somewhere near his home. Let him know.
It is better to meet up for a cup of coffee than for dinner because it gives him the impression that it is only a short meeting and it is less threatening.
What If He Doesn’t Even Want To Text Me
The same principle applies here. It is still about time and how you reach out to him.
Be creative in what you sent him. If you need more ideas for text messages, you can get them here.
If you don’t hear back from him, try again in a few weeks. After a few weeks, if he still doesn’t want to reply you, try again. Keep on trying for at least a few times.
As for how many times you should try, that’s up to you. If you truly believe in this relationship, there is nothing wrong with trying more than 10 times. Just make sure you don’t give up after your first attempt. At the very minimum, try at least 3 times.
Most people give up too soon. You don’t want to make the same mistake.
Face to Face Meeting Is Not The Only Way to Show Your Ex That You Have Changed
By the way, just because you can’t meet him face to face doesn’t mean you can’t show him how much you have changed.
If you have truly transformed yourself from the core, it is going to show through your interaction with your ex, even if it is just text messages.
Have really taken the time to upgrade your communication skills?
Do you have the abundance or scarcity mindset?
Are you coming from a place of courage or fear?
Are you responding or reacting to situation?
All these factors will naturally influence the way you write your text messages.
It may be a very subtle change but your ex will noticed it over time.
Are You Sure You Have Changed?
I don’t want to sound like a broken record but I think this is worth mentioning.
If in your mind, you are constantly thinking about how to show your ex that you have changed, then maybe you haven’t really changed as much as you think you have.
The reason why so many people are struggling to connect with their ex on a deeper emotional level is because their minds are all over the places.
They are always thinking of how to impress their ex instead of just being 100% present with their ex.
Here is The Irony
The more you focus on impressing your ex, the more your ex will see you as the same old person. They just can’t feel your presence.
On the other hand, if you just be present with your ex, your ex will noticed how much you have changed because he has never experienced that with you in the past, even when you were still together before the breakup.
This applies for both face to face meeting and text messages.
After all, text messages are not just words. They are often laden with emotions. The only way you can pick up those emotional undertones is to be present. That’s how you can respond accordingly to build emotional connection with your ex.
So even if your ex doesn’t want to meet you, you can still show him your changes through text messages. The key is to stop trying to show him you have changed. Just be present.