2nd Chance: How To Win Back The Love Of Your Ex
Recently, a lot of people have been asking me whether those get your ex back ebooks really work. Well, this is really not an easy question to answer.
After all, how do you define “works”?
Does it mean getting back together with your ex and happily ever after? Seems like the obvious answer.
What if you feel much better and happier after reading the book and realize that he is not the right man for you after all? If you don’t want to get back together with him anymore after reading the ebook, does it work for you?
What if you get back together with him only to break up soon after?
There is a reason why I am saying all these. If you read the books I consider as Category 1 below, you can get yourself into Situation 3.
On the other hand, if you read the books I consider as Category 2, you can find yourself in Situation 1 or 2.
Personally, I have spent a few hundred dollars buying all those ebooks, just to learn more about this topic. In general, you can classify those ebooks into 2 different categories.
Category 1: Ebooks About Mind Games, Manipulation and Deception
Believe it or not, many of those ebooks teach you how to play mind games with your ex and manipulate them. If you really follow their advice, you can usually expect the following 2 outcomes:
1. Your ex knows you are playing mind games with them and refuse to get involve in your game. There is no chance of getting back together.
2. You get your ex back for a while only to break up again. In fact, it shouldn’t even be considered as getting back together in the first place.
Usually, what happen is your boyfriend may start to text you after you initiated “no contact” on him. He may say something like he misses you but when you respond and say you miss him too, he started to ignore you or use no contact back on you.
This can become a never ending game and is an emotional torture for either one or both of you, depending on who wants who more.
Category 2: Ebooks About Healing, Reflection, Communication and Long Term Committed Relationship
In any serious relationship, a break up doesn’t just happen out of the blue. There must be a reason behind it. Even if you think that the break up is very sudden, it is usually not. Most probably, your ex has been comtemplating break up for quite some time.
If you are looking for a long term committed relationship, you can’t just get back together without fixing the underlying issue. But you can’t fix anything if you don’t know where the problem lies.
That is where reflection and communication comes in.
But before that, you need to heal yourself so that you have a clearer mind to reflect on your relationship.
There are a few good ebooks that do cover these topics in detail. One of them is 2nd Chance, which I will be reviewing below.
Don’t Play Mind Games With Your Ex
If you have followed me for a while or have read a couple of articles on my site, you will know that I am a strong advocate of not playing mind games in your relationship.
I keep on harping on these points because I have seen how game playing can wreck havoc in relationships, making it impossible to get back together. Those relationships could have been saved in the first place if not for all those psychological games.
Now, this may seem obvious. Any outsider can easily see that a particular relationship is not going to work if the couples keep on playing mind games with each other.
But when you are the one going through the break up, when you are the one going through the emotional turmoil, you may not know what you are doing. You may not even be aware of the fact that you are playing mind games with your ex.
And this is definitely not your fault. With so many “get your ex back” ebooks and websites teaching the wrong reasons for using the “no contact rule” and a whole range of psychological tactics, it is little wonder that many men and women are now playing mind games with each other.
So what makes 2nd Chance different from other get your ex back ebooks?
My Review of 2nd Chance – How To Win Back The Love Of Your Ex
2nd Chance is a very detailed and comprehensive guide of 199 pages, written by dating and relationship coaches Amy Waterman and Mirabelle Summers.
What I like about this guide is that there is no game playing and manipulation involved.
It involves a 6 step process to get your ex boyfriend back. Below is a brief description of each step.
Step 1: Get Through The Immediate Grief
There is a good reason why every get your ex back ebook talks about no contact. After all, you can’t possibly get your ex back if you are too emotional. It may cause you to do all kinds of things that you shouldn’t be doing.
That is why it is important to implement no contact so that you have a chance to heal. It will also prepare you for step 2 and 3.
Many get your ex back ebooks teach no contact as a way to make your boyfriend miss you. This is definitely not the right reason for using no contact.
If you do so, you will end up worrying about whether your ex boyfriend is missing you. This defeats the purpose of no contact, which is to focus on healing yourself.
When you follow the no contact guideline recommended in 2nd chance, without playing games, you will actually stand a better chance to get your ex boyfriend back.
Step 2: Think
Once you feel better, it is time to reflect on your relationship. Is it even a good idea to save this relationship? What are the good points in this relationship? What are the bad points? These points are addressed in detail in 2nd Chance.
There is actually a very good chance that after going through this step, you no longer want your ex boyfriend back but you are still happy about the decision.
Of course, if you believe that this relationship is meant to be, you can move on to step 3 and learn how to deal with the anger.
Step 3: Deal With The Anger
There is a possibility that you are still feeling angry over the breakup. Maybe you are angry with your ex for breaking up with you. Maybe you are angry with yourself. Maybe you are angry with your current situation. Maybe you are angry with the past. Before you even initiate contact with your ex, you need to learn how to let go of the anger.
Step 4: Initiate Contact
When should you start to initiate contact with your ex? Is it 30 days or any arbitrary numbers? How should you contact your ex? Is it through text messages, emails or phone calls? What should you write if you are using text messages or emails? What should you say over the phone? How do you start dating your ex again? 2nd Chance will show you how.
Step 5: Talk About The Breakup
You may be dating your ex right now but you are not considered officially back together if you don’t talk about the breakup. After all, communication is a critical component of any relationship.
This is the time to find out what your ex want and tell him what you want. This is the time to talk about where the relationship is going. Without talking, you will never know.
Step 6: Putting Love Into Practice
Let face it. Most human beings are lazy by nature and tend to take things for granted. Once you got your ex boyfriend back, you may think that all the hard work is done and you can just sit back and relax.
Nothing is further from the truth. Relationship is hard work and you really need to work on it every single day. You need to learn how to put love into practice.
Update (July 2015):
I wrote this review way back in early 2014.
Back then, I haven’t bought Ex Solution Program yet. Therefore, I considered 2nd Chance as one of the best get your ex back program because it is one of the few ebooks that actually teach you how to get your ex back without playing mind games.
As of now, July 2015, out of all the get your ex back program that I have purchased, I consider Ex Solution Program as the best and I have given 5 reasons here.
Don’t get me wrong. 2nd Chance is a very good ebook. It has a lot of good information to help you get your ex back. However, it doesn’t come with personalized support.
When you join Ex Solution Program and you choose the Online Support Community Access option, you will be able to get personalized support.
If you have any questions and need an expert to tell you what to do next, you can always post your questions in the Online Support Community forum.
So if you are looking for ongoing and personalized support to help you get your ex back, you can consider joining Ex Solution Program.
If you just want to get an ebook, then 2nd Chance is a good alternative.