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2nd Chance: How To Win Back The Love Of Your Ex

Recently, a lot of people have been asking me whether those get your ex back ebooks really work. Well, this is really not an easy question to answer.

After all, how do you define “works”?

 

Situation 1:

Does it mean getting back together with your ex and happily ever after? Seems like the obvious answer.

 

Situation 2:

What if you feel much better and happier after reading the book and realize that he is not the right man for you after all? If you don’t want to get back together with him anymore after reading the ebook, does it work for you?

 

Situation 3:

What if you get back together with him only to break up soon after?

There is a reason why I am saying all these. If you read the books I consider as Category 1 below, you can get yourself into Situation 3.

On the other hand, if you read the books I consider as Category 2, you can find yourself in Situation 1 or 2.

Personally, I have spent a few hundred dollars buying all those ebooks, just to learn more about this topic. In general, you can classify those ebooks into 2 different categories.

Click Here To Visit 2nd Chance
How To Win Back The Love Of My Ex

Category 1: Ebooks About Mind Games, Manipulation and Deception

Believe it or not, many of those ebooks teach you how to play mind games with your ex and manipulate them. If you really follow their advice, you can usually expect the following 2 outcomes:

1. Your ex knows you are playing mind games with them and refuse to get involve in your game. There is no chance of getting back together.

2. You get your ex back for a while only to break up again. In fact, it shouldn’t even be considered as getting back together in the first place.

Usually, what happen is your boyfriend may start to text you after you initiated “no contact” on him. He may say something like he misses you but when you respond and say you miss him too, he started to ignore you or use no contact back on you.

This can become a never ending game and is an emotional torture for either one or both of you, depending on who wants who more.

 

Category 2: Ebooks About Healing, Reflection, Communication and Long Term Committed Relationship

In any serious relationship, a break up doesn’t just happen out of the blue. There must be a reason behind it. Even if you think that the break up is very sudden, it is usually not. Most probably, your ex has been comtemplating break up for quite some time.

If you are looking for a long term committed relationship, you can’t just get back together without fixing the underlying issue. But you can’t fix anything if you don’t know where the problem lies.
That is where reflection and communication comes in.

But before that, you need to heal yourself so that you have a clearer mind to reflect on your relationship.

There are a few good ebooks that do cover these topics in detail. One of them is 2nd Chance, which I will be reviewing below.

 

Don’t Play Mind Games With Your Ex

If you have followed me for a while or have read a couple of articles on my site, you will know that I am a strong advocate of not playing mind games in your relationship.

I keep on harping on these points because I have seen how game playing can wreck havoc in relationships, making it impossible to get back together. Those relationships could have been saved in the first place if not for all those psychological games.

Now, this may seem obvious. Any outsider can easily see that a particular relationship is not going to work if the couples keep on playing mind games with each other.

But when you are the one going through the break up, when you are the one going through the emotional turmoil, you may not know what you are doing. You may not even be aware of the fact that you are playing mind games with your ex.

And this is definitely not your fault. With so many “get your ex back” ebooks and websites teaching the wrong reasons for using the “no contact rule” and a whole range of psychological tactics, it is little wonder that many men and women are now playing mind games with each other.

So what makes 2nd Chance different from other get your ex back ebooks?

 

My Review of 2nd Chance – How To Win Back The Love Of Your Ex

2nd Chance is a very detailed and comprehensive guide of 199 pages, written by dating and relationship coaches Amy Waterman and Mirabelle Summers.

What I like about this guide is that there is no game playing and manipulation involved.

It involves a 6 step process to get your ex boyfriend back. Below is a brief description of each step.

 

Step 1: Get Through The Immediate Grief

There is a good reason why every get your ex back ebook talks about no contact. After all, you can’t possibly get your ex back if you are too emotional. It may cause you to do all kinds of things that you shouldn’t be doing.

That is why it is important to implement no contact so that you have a chance to heal. It will also prepare you for step 2 and 3.

Many get your ex back ebooks teach no contact as a way to make your boyfriend miss you. This is definitely not the right reason for using no contact.

If you do so, you will end up worrying about whether your ex boyfriend is missing you. This defeats the purpose of no contact, which is to focus on healing yourself.

When you follow the no contact guideline recommended in 2nd chance, without playing games, you will actually stand a better chance to get your ex boyfriend back.

 

Step 2: Think

Once you feel better, it is time to reflect on your relationship. Is it even a good idea to save this relationship? What are the good points in this relationship? What are the bad points? These points are addressed in detail in 2nd Chance.

There is actually a very good chance that after going through this step, you no longer want your ex boyfriend back but you are still happy about the decision.

Of course, if you believe that this relationship is meant to be, you can move on to step 3 and learn how to deal with the anger.

 

Step 3: Deal With The Anger

There is a possibility that you are still feeling angry over the breakup. Maybe you are angry with your ex for breaking up with you. Maybe you are angry with yourself. Maybe you are angry with your current situation. Maybe you are angry with the past. Before you even initiate contact with your ex, you need to learn how to let go of the anger.

 

Step 4: Initiate Contact

When should you start to initiate contact with your ex? Is it 30 days or any arbitrary numbers? How should you contact your ex? Is it through text messages, emails or phone calls? What should you write if you are using text messages or emails? What should you say over the phone? How do you start dating your ex again? 2nd Chance will show you how.

 

Step 5: Talk About The Breakup

You may be dating your ex right now but you are not considered officially back together if you don’t talk about the breakup. After all, communication is a critical component of any relationship.

This is the time to find out what your ex want and tell him what you want. This is the time to talk about where the relationship is going. Without talking, you will never know.

 

Step 6: Putting Love Into Practice

Let face it. Most human beings are lazy by nature and tend to take things for granted. Once you got your ex boyfriend back, you may think that all the hard work is done and you can just sit back and relax.

Nothing is further from the truth. Relationship is hard work and you really need to work on it every single day. You need to learn how to put love into practice.

Click Here To Visit 2nd Chance
How To Win Back The Love Of My Ex

Update (July 2015):

I wrote this review way back in early 2014.

Back then, I haven’t bought Ex Solution Program yet. Therefore, I considered 2nd Chance as one of the best get your ex back program because it is one of the few ebooks that actually teach you how to get your ex back without playing mind games.

As of now, July 2015, out of all the get your ex back program that I have purchased, I consider Ex Solution Program as the best and I have given 5 reasons here.

Don’t get me wrong. 2nd Chance is a very good ebook. It has a lot of good information to help you get your ex back. However, it doesn’t come with personalized support.

When you join Ex Solution Program and you choose the Online Support Community Access option, you will be able to get personalized support.

If you have any questions and need an expert to tell you what to do next, you can always post your questions in the Online Support Community forum.

So if you are looking for ongoing and personalized support to help you get your ex back, you can consider joining Ex Solution Program.

If you just want to get an ebook, then 2nd Chance is a good alternative.

Sign Up For My Calm Down & Mindset Newsletter


You will receive daily tips that will show you how to calm down, deal with your negative emotions, develop the right mindset, understand your ex's emotional state,  understand your own emotional state and many more.


Having these knowledge will help you tremendously when you are trying to get your ex back.


 


Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 29 comments
jennifer

We dated for 2 years, in a long distance relationship. We had great chemistry with each other and our friends always tell us that we are the perfect couple. About 4 months ago, he started telling me that maybe we are not meant to be together and that his feelings for me were no longer the same. Then one month later, he broke up with me. I tried contacting him but he was trying to avoid me. Should I keep on contacting him? Any idea???

Reply
    Mark

    It is not easy to make a long distance relationship work. If I understand correctly, he has broken up with you 3 months ago and till now, you have not managed to get in touch with him.

    It seems like he has made the final decision to break up with you and the situation doesn’t seem so optimistic for you. Maybe you should stop contacting him for a while and see whether he will start to contact you instead. But you should definitely be mentally prepared to move on.

    Reply
andrea

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year. For the first 9 months, everything was great but things started to change 3 months ago. He started to become more aloof and didn’t really want to talk to me. Finally, I decided to confront him and he told me that he was stressed, especially about his business and financial situation. He assured me that he still loves me. However, I just don’t feel his love for me anymore. Am I being too sensitive?

Reply
    Mark

    Perhaps your boyfriend is really feeling stress about his situation. Men have the tendency to hide in their “cave” when facing problems.

    Reply
Karen

Hi Mark, have you read Text The Romance Back by Michael Fiore? What do you think about it?

Reply
    Mark

    No , I don’t have this product, so no comments about it. But I have heard that Michael Fiore’s product is pretty good. Anyway, I don’t think Text The Romance Back is about getting your ex back. From my research, it is more about using text messages to spice up a relationship where the couples are still together.

    Reply
      Regina

      Hello,

      I have Text Your Ex Back and it is about using test messages to get your ex back by gently reconnecting in a non threatening way. I haven’t used it yet as I am in my no contact period, but I feel like it’s a great product to either prepare you for the clear headed mindset to realise you and your ex were great together or for you to realise that you are better off without him. It comes with audio books and the PDF books. I love Michael Fiore. I subscribe to his YouTube channel and podcast.

      Reply
karen

Hi mark
we are both in our 40ies seven year relationship-
I broke up w him 3 months ago
He stalked begged contacted me for an entre MONTH I ignored all his approaches
One month later (so 8 weeks after. I broke up w him) I iniated contact he is very angry
said he wasnt ready to be in contact w me so I waited 4 weeks again
contactdd him told him the time apart help me to put things in perspective work on myself (I truly have been alone and not dating)
I expressed to him that I did not want to go back but for him to consider hitting the reset button starting fresh.
he says he wants nothing to do w me.

Reply
    Mark

    Maybe he is just saying it out of anger or maybe he means it.
    At this point, it is hard to tell.
    Why did you break up with him?

    Reply
sara

Hi Mark,
My bf and I of 4 years just went on a break. He said he’s not in an emotionally good state of mind. That he needed space. I am doing no contact because he asked for it and working on me right now. Do you know of any books or anything I can do right now to be back with him.
I have thought long and hard about if it was worth waiting and discovered that we share a lot of the same values and I enjoy talking to him and respect what he says. I do want our break to end happy so any advice will be nice.
Thanks

Reply
    Mark

    Do you know why he is not in a good emotional state? Stress? Something major happening in his life?

    There is one site that provides weekly breakup coaching and you can ask questions about your unique situation.

    You can sign up for their free newsletter here to check them out and see whether it is a good fit for you.

    Reply
      sara

      I do not know why he is in this state of mind. He did tell me he deeply cared about me and cried while asking for his space. He told me it is the hardest thing he has ever done.
      All I can do is speculate on his emotions. He recently dropped out of school and only has a part time job where I have a career.
      Do you have any suggestions on what I should do in this situation?

      Reply
        Mark

        I see. This is a self esteem issue.

        As far as men are concerned, their career and financial situation can have a great impact on how they feel about themselves, which can directly affect their relationship.

        I think the most accurate description of his feelings right now is he feels like a loser.

        So he may think that he can’t take care of you or he just doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with a good woman like you.

        It may seem ironic but the more you try to comfort him or help him, it may push him away.

        Why is that so?

        Well, let me paint a scenario for you.

        Say you decided to pay for every date to ease his burden. On one hand, he appreciates your effort. On the other hand, every time he sees you taking out your wallet, it reminds him of what a loser he is.

        In other words, being together with you cause him pain even when you are trying to help him and stand by him. So the best thing you can do now is to leave him alone, at least for the time being. Give him the space he needs. Hopefully, he will come round sooner than later.

        And be there for him when he decided to contact you.

        Reply
        sara

        I have given him his space. Is there any chance that he will leave me or is this all about him needing time?

        Can I do anything to get him back faster

        Reply
        Mark

        It really depends on the individual. Some people get back on track faster. Some people just need a longer time.

        You can’t control him but you can control yourself. It seems like you have sign up for the program I recommend.

        So what you can do now is to learn the advance relational skills they teach in the program so that you will know how to communicate with him when he is ready to talk to you.

        Reply
Arianna

Hi Mark, My ex and I broke up like 2 months ago, we’ve been together for six years. When we were in our 3rd year of relationship, he decided to go back to their province to study again for second degree since I’m studying too. We’re 8 years gap. It’s really a struggle for being not together but from time to time I visit him or vice versa. However, when I started working I met this guy, since I’m apart from my boyfriend, I somehow felt something for this guy, but I know that’s wrong. I refrain not to see this guy, I really avoided him. But I admitted this to my boyfriend, well ex now. He got mad but he accepts me back. Then after few months, he got mad again with the situation, I quickly visited him to talk about the problem, then we broke up.

I just don’t get it that when we see each other, we’re so okay, but if we’re apart, we fight so many times.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Just want him back. But it’s hard since this is our situation. You think, I can do something? He has this high ego! And I don’t know what’s the right medicine for that.

Please help

Reply
    Mark

    Hi Arianna,

    Maybe you are focusing on the wrong things? The fact is, you can’t control his behavior. The only thing you can control is your response.

    First, you may want to ask yourself why you have feelings for that guy. Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to find fault with you because I think you have done the right things by avoiding him and you should be proud of yourself for that.

    What I am trying to get you to look at is the root cause. In general, a woman in a relationship is more likely fall for another guy when her needs are not met. So what is missing in your relationship? What did you find in that guy that you can’t find in your ex?

    If you don’t figure these things out, there is really no point getting back together with your ex because even if you manage to do so, a breakup is very likely to happen again.

    Also, you may want to ask yourself whether you are really happy in this relationship. Are you happy most of the time, especially in the last 3 years. Maybe you can read this article first to decide whether your relationship is worth saving.

    Reply
Monet

Hi mark,
My boyfriend and I have been saying for almost 2 years now. He just broke up with me two days before Christmas. He says that I curse at him too much calling him the b word, and that I like to argue. He has this issue where he feels I’m always wrong compared to him. Lately he has been acting really sketchy. It made me wonder if he is being unfaithful or has some other life issue going on. He broke up with me via phone and didn’t tell me exactly why he broke up with me. I’m hurt, in pain, and I can’t sleep at night. I truly miss him. But every time I contact him (even from different phones) he will not respond to me. I don’t want to seem weak because I know this is my first true love. He was there almost everyday with me, brought me everything n then he just up and breaks up with me without an explanation…I keep contacting him..

I need some advice, what do you suggest/think ?

Reply
    Mark

    Read this and let me know whether it helps.

    Reply
noel

Hi Mark,

The guy i’ve been seeing for a long time, 9 months, but have had a thing for couple years now, ended our relationship a few weeks ago. We’ve sent texts back and forth (some bad drunk ones) however, my last text i asked how he was and that i just wanted to say, Hi. He responded two days later, “Hey, not bad.” “you?” That was yesterday morning. Should I respond or do NC. I really want to reconcile when we solve our current issues that led to the break-up. Thanks

Reply
    Mark

    Do NC and make use of this time wisely. Use NC to practise the skills I mentioned in this article. Also, read this so that you know the 5 stages of getting your ex back. Not knowing these 5 stages can cause you to make unnecessary mistakes.

    Reply
amanda

Hello,
My bf just broke up with me bc lately we argues everyday about stupid stuff and mainly bcause he is popular and I am literally jealous for no reason. Last week I followed some girls that he know on instagram and they spread dramas about us and texted him that they are freaking out blah blah… I know is was my fault. He didn’t tell me about he was stressed out for 3 days but I cared about him so I forced him to tell me. He told me about the whole situation and broke up with me. next day we talked three times over the phone. he said he is going to have a serious semester and we broke up not only because the drama it is overall. He also want no-contact time for like 2 or 3 weeks maybe. He also told me He told me he was so sad and felt crying, he told me he loves me a lot as the same as before, I told him I love him so much too. He just don’t want to be in a relationship with me.
Frankly speaking, when we argue we really didn’t have huge different opinion on things, most of time I like to get sad so he can be sweet to me, I guess I shouldn’t do that. I think he is 95% perfect for me and i think he might think im 85-90% fit for him.
There is really no major issues for me, for him he thought is not working + he has school work (pre-med). So I want to know after 2 or 3 weeks no-contact period, after he heels himself will he not want to get back to me at all? What should I do to maybe get him back?

Reply
    Mark

    Start practising the skills I mentioned in this article today. Also, read this so that you know what to expect at each stage of your relationship.

    Reply
anne

Hi,

I just broke up with my boyfriend for 6 years, the reason is we always fighting because of the same girl that he cheated with me before. Before we broke up already because of this girl but he comes back to me and choose me. We even make plans already to get married after, but because of these girl again we had big fights and push him to start talking with her again. Now he said he cannot decide between me and her anymore. And just after 3 days we broke up, that girl forwarded me my ex message stating that he misses her. I am thinking maybe he already chosen her over me, but one thing I cannot understand why he cannot blocked me and even answers my call and cannot tell directly to me that he chose her over me. Can i still win him over again?

Reply
Emma

Hi Mark,

Your articles are very making sense and I totally agree with your methodologies. I’m wondering if you can give some tips for my situation. I didnt apply No Contact Rule, because during our breakup, I requested to keep friends.

Our relationship was 10 months long and very serious even mentioning marriage sometimes, he is dutch and I’m Chinese and we have been to China to meet my parents in December 2014, and our relationship ended on 1st Feb 2015.

He was the one who proposed the breakup because of the very general problem that girls have in relationship (inconfident, much desire for occupying time, insecure, bad temper ,negative energy,etc), we had broken up the first time on 13th December but that time he was not 100% sure, so after begging, he agreed to continue. But during the rest one and half month, our problem, or my personality problem hasn’t changed, so when I tried to complained about something again, he proposed to breakup, this time is permanent and determined. He also wanted to keep me as friend when breaking up, but his mind was changing depended on my reaction, When I behaved so upset and tried to save him back, then he said he needed time to be friend with me.

I have been in this upset period for 2 days after breaking up. However, on the 3rd day, I was totally waken up and told him that I accepted it and I feel nothing pain now. After that I behaved very rational and reasonable, stopped calling and texting him. And then I noticed that he became a bit more initiated/active to contact me.

We have agreed to meet on the first weekend since we broke up, during that meetup, I behaved very well and all conversation was non-emotion-relative. Then he told that he saw a change in me, and in this way he thinks that we can be friends forever.
Since we agreed to meet regularly, such as meet at least 1 time a week, so on 14th Feb we met up again for dinner, from this time, the mood of him was totally changed: he mentioned something like “maybe in the future we get married… maybe we can still go Japan together(this was planned before we broke up, and during breakup, he strongly refused to go long trip with me)”. Something that was totally not possible to think about two weeks ago.When we met up together, He still behaves very close and familiar to me, just like a family, many hugs and kisses, I can see that he still likes me.

The next meetup was one week after, he even said that, he can still see future between us, and believes that there is chance of being in relationship again with me because he saw that I have changed so much, I became very positive and happy, but he emphasized that we are not directly in relationship again and it still takes some time. And during this time, we slept together, which we didn’t do for about a month, because he didn’t have feeling for me to do that before and during the breakup. Therefore, the following two weeks I was quite happy, I feel like that I’m very close to the relationship again.

However, two weeks ago when we met up again in the weekend, this time we didn’t have sex, just like the time before we broke up, only kisses and hugs but no seuxal intention. I’m quite sensitive, so I feel like his feeling for me is not strong enough or I’m being not so attractive to him again. So the second day I asked him again about the question” do you see future between us?”, he said “maybe, I don’t block the chance of our future”. I felt in the way that he was taking a step back, compared with the words he said two weeks ago. I’m considering that he might take me as a backup plan if he cannot meet someone better, and also I found out that he is using Tinder and talked with many girls.

Now the situation is, during the time we don’t meet, he still sends me messages from time to time, the content is “I miss you”, or ” I love you”, every two days at least. When we meet up, he is still very close to me, and showing cares, but when I come up with serious question about meeting more often, or going to long trip together, then he always told me that he wants to keep some distance still, and it still takes some time. He also told me that he only likes me now and there are no any other girls, and he is also working on us.
I just dont understand if it’s worth trusting that “needing more time or taking some time” is really in the good direction or it is just an excuse.

Before we broke up, we had the plan to go to London in Easter. During breaking up,he suggested he might still want to go with me, but also found it difficult when I behaved so desperate the first 2days after breaking-up. However, later on he agreed to keep this promise and recently we finally booked the tickets and hotels for this trip. He even gave me his personal credit card to book tickets for London trip.

I’m sorry that I typed so long for explaining my situation, hopefully you don’t mind, you could simply get into my questions and that might not take much time.
I’m having two questions in short in my head: 1) is the holiday together a good opportunity for me to win him back? I’m afraid this trip might be gesture or sympathy for me. 2) is his words “taking some time” really meaningful literally? 3) we still contact quite often, almost everyday, sending emoticons like “love”,”hug” etc, Do I have to ignore those messages and practice NC rule from now on?

I’m very very grateful to your great help Mark, I dont know if you still help to give advice nowadays, just for fat chance, I hope I can get your suggestions soon. Thank you very much again!

kind regards,
Emma

Reply
    Mark

    Hi Emma, it takes a lot of patience when you are trying to get your ex back. So don’t try to rush things. Take it slowly, one step at a time.

    You should watch these 5 videos about the 5 stages of getting your ex back. I believe that after you watch these 5 videos, you will start to get an idea on why your ex boyfriend was behaving that way.

    Basically, when you are able to connect with him emotionally, when he can see changes in you, you will be able to progress to the next stage. (That is why when he sees that you have changed, he is willing to try again with you.)

    Unfortunately, he was in the test drive phase, which is stage 2. At stage 2, it is not the right time for you to start talking about getting back together. That is why when you started asking whether there is a future between the 2 of you, he started feeling pressured and decided to take a step back.

    Hopefully, my explanation and the videos has made things a lot clearer to you.

    So to answer your questions.

    You can definitely go for holidays with him. Don’t worry too much about him showing sympathy for you. Think more positively. Otherwise, you are simply sabotaging yourself before you even get started. Don’t let negative thoughts affect you.

    Also, during this holiday, your goal is not to get him back immediately. This is going to take time. Instead, your goal is to progress to the next stage. Remember the videos, 5 stages of getting your ex back? So one stage at a time. Don’t be impatient.

    Just have fun and enjoy your holidays with him. Just take things easily and let things happen naturally. Don’t try to force an outcome.

    As for whether you should go NC now, it depends on your current state of emotions. If you are in an emotional wreck, then you should definitely use NC to heal yourself first. On the other hand, if you are truly in control of your emotions, then you can certainly keep in touch with him.

    You can also practise the exercises mentioned in this article to improve your emotional strength. This will definitely help you when you are interacting with your ex.

    Reply
      Emma

      Hi Mark,

      I’m unbelievably grateful to your replay and advices! They are making a lot of sense to me and I will definitely follow it.

      Before I read your suggestion, yesterday I have met my ex again, and we talked about the puzzles I had in my mind(Actually I know that I should have not even asked for a meet up during the week as we promised to keep distance..). The conversation was starting from good beginning to dangerous and to good again in the end. What was going dangerous is because we had different views on keeping distance, and on the result. I was trying to ask him to give a positive view of result after the period of keeping distance, but he insisted that he cannot promise anything and he just needs to see how good we are going to and then we will know what relation we will have, and if after the trip to London, if he feel not right then he will take step back by himself. Those words made me feel insecure and pessimistic at that moment so I was bit tearing even, and our conversation was going to wrong direction(seem familiar with old conflicts scene). However, when we were on way back, we made conversation good again, we made agreements, he promised me that he will not be serious with any girls atm and he will not make this time too long for us.

      Now what I’m think is, I feel both positive and negative. What I feel negative is, I screwed thing up again, I have called him 3 times and met him one time in 2 days, and during our conversation, we had different goals, which would make him think I’m probably not improved, and he probably have resistance feeling against me now. What I feel positive is, I finally get to know that even he talks on Tinder but he is trying to develop something serious, and I finally know that he will not make this pending period long.

      Our trip is coming very soon, next week. I know I have screwed up 60% before the good outcome would happen. What I tell myself now is, at least he is still looking forward to having trip with me and see how happy we are going to be, and as long as I manage myself very well, he has no reason to stop trying to save our relation. That’s what I’m keeping telling myself to think optimistically.

      Thank you very much again Mark, I will make my best effort to enhance my relational skill. Do you think I should just keep doing things what a couple would do, like hugs, kisses, and cooking food, watching movie,in order to maintain the intimacy, but never mention relationship again at least before he mention?

      Kind regards,
      Emma

      Reply
        Mark

        Yes, do whatever that feels good between the 2 of you. The only exception is sex. If you can do it without feeling emotional and without expectation (without expecting him to come back just because you slept with him), then feel free to do so. Otherwise, don’t sleep with him if you know you will get emotional.

        From my experience so far, most women are not able to have sex with their ex without having expectation. So just take note of that.

        Reply
ruby

We dated for 3 years and have had a very serious relationship. I made a very silly mistake which was to speak to a person whom was interested in me and my boyfriend found out. It wasn’t just speaking. I spent some time with the person where he also dropped me to work and there were times we just went to a café. It didn’t mean anything to be but for my boyfriend it seemed like a betrayal because he had always been honest with me and told me he did not like that person. I think he was very surprised I kept this hidden from him.
When he found out he said he didn’t want a relationship anymore and we broke up. But I did not let it get to the NC stage and 2 months later, he said to me lets give it a shot. We have since then and its been great when we met, he gave me gifts etc and it was beautiful. But at times I could sense the detachment. My boyfriend is very intelligent and I know he is less emotional than me. He now says its just not working and that he does not really feel anything for me.
I don’t understand because just a few days ago he was talking about future and the fun we can have. He said he sometimes pretended for my sake but I don’t really believe that.
I know his personality, he changes his minds a lot. Most of the times he disagrees with what I say but ultimately he comes back to it.
I think I will use the NC rule from today as he is not reasoning for the past 2 3 days where he’s finally said he doesn’t want this anymore. And he only said this because I was upset with his way of speaking to me, like you could tell he was acting out like he doesn’t care. Now he says he just is not into us anymore, there is no love and he does not feel like I deserve it because of what I have done. I don’t think he has fully forgiven me .

What are your thoughts?

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