How To Get Your Ex Back With The Law Of Attraction

If you have watched The Secret movie by Rhonda Byrne, you are probably no stranger to the concept of The Law of Attraction (LOA).

Now, the number one question you probably want to ask is this:

Can The Law Of Attraction Be Used To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?

I am actually a bit hesitant to write about this topic because I may be accused of giving people false hope. After all, there is no way you can prove that The Law of Attraction works, not in a scientific manner anyway.

And it seems ridiculous in the first place. How can you get your boyfriend back just by sitting there and thinking that he will get back together with you?

But I still decided to write about this topic because I am currently conducting an experiment on myself. The truth is, I have heard about The Law of Attraction a few years ago but I never really put it into practice.

However, after reading about how world famous cartoonist Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert has used affirmations to achieve great success in his life, I decided to give it a try.

Using A Very Practical Approach For The Law Of Attraction

Now, I am a very practical person when it comes to LOA. Let me explain what I mean.

You see, when it comes to the Law of Attraction, people either believe it or they don’t. In fact, most people are probably somewhere in between.

If you happen to be a skeptic, all I can say is just keep an open mind. I will not try to convince you here because I know how hard it can be to change a person’s belief.

As I mentioned above, I am very practical about LOA.

I will just test it for a minimum of 6 months. If it works for me, I will just continue using it even if I don’t know why it works in the first place.

If it doesn’t work for me, I will simply discard it. It is as simple as that.

In my opinion, there is really no need to make things more complicated than they need to be.

Is The Law Of Attraction Scientific?

Some people will say that this Law of Attraction thingy is not scientific or is just pure superstition. Personally, I don’t care about the science behind it because I am not a scientist. Why not let the scientists worry about it?

For me, I am more interested to know whether LOA can improve my life. And for you, you are probably more interested to know whether LOA can help you get your ex back.

Let’s put it this way. I believe all of us here have suffered from a cough or sore throat in the past. Unless the condition is really serious, some people will probably choose to consume a home remedy that has always work for them, instead of visiting the doctor.

However, if you ask several doctors whether those home remedies work, you will probably hear a very standard answer such as, “it can be helpful but it is not scientifically proven”.

Now, let me ask you a few questions.

If a home remedy has been very effective in helping you relief your sore throat, will you stop consuming it simply because it is not scientifically proven?

Will you wait till it is scientifically proven before you consume it?

I am sure your answer will be no. You would rather relief your sore throat now instead of worrying about the science behind it.

Some people may say that it is just a psychological effect. Well, if that is the case, so be it. I am happy as long as it works for me.

Personally, I view science as a way to make sense of the world around us but it is definitely not the only way. Spirituality is another way.

I do not look at things in terms of scientific or non scientific. I prefer to look at things in terms of whether they are useful to me or not.

Alright, I think I am getting a bit carried away. You are here to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back, not to hear about my ramblings. So let’s get back to the main topic.

How To Get Your Ex Back Using The Law Of Attraction?

First, a big disclaimer here! I am not an expert in The Law of Attraction. In fact, I am testing it myself for a minimum of 6 months.

However, I think I have read enough books and done enough research on this topic to give you the information you need.

You can look at it this way. I am doing all the research for you so that you don’t have to.

We are going to go through 1 technique together. It is called Affirmations.

How To Use Affirmations To Get Your Boyfriend Back

An affirmation is simply a positive statement that you repeat to yourself over and over again. For example, if you have always lack confidence in yourself and want to become a more confident person, you can use an affirmation such as “I am getting more and more confident every day.”

The purpose behind this technique is to reprogram your subconscious mind to think more positively.

It is said that on average, a person will have tens of thousands of thoughts going through his/her mind. For most people, at least 90% of their thoughts will be negative.

According to The Law of Attraction, when you are thinking negative thoughts most of the time, you are going to attract negative events into your life.

That is why it is a good idea to use affirmations to consciously input positive thoughts into your subconscious mind so that you will start attracting positive events into your life.

There are a few ways you can go about this method.

a. Mentally

You simply repeat the affirmation mentally to yourself. For example, if you are traveling to work using public transport, you are probably not too keen to repeat your affirmations verbally in case people think you are crazy.

Therefore, you can think about your affirmations mentally instead.

b. Verbally

You simply say the affirmation out loud to yourself. It can also be helpful if you look into the mirror while saying the affirmation.

c. Hand Written

You can write the affirmation down. Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert comics, used to write his affirmation 15 times per day, for a minimum of 6 months. You can read more about his experience with affirmations here.

The 3 Rules Of Crafting The Perfect Affirmation

Rule 1: It Should Be Written In The Present Tense

Your affirmation should be written in the present tense. For example, if you want to become more confident, it is better to say “I am confident” instead of “I will be confident”.

When you say “I will be confident”, it is something that happen in the future. Therefore, you will always have to wait for the future before you can become confident. That is why it is better to write your affirmation in the present tense.

Rule 2: It Should Be Written In A Positive Format

Your affirmation should be written in a positive format. For example, you should say “I am confident” instead of “I am not insecure”.

This is because your subconscious mind cannot pick up the “not”. If you keep on repeating “I am not insecure”, your subconscious mind will interpret it as “I am insecure”, which defeat the purpose of the affirmation in the first place.

Therefore, always phrase your affirmation in a positive manner. Avoid using negative words.

Rule 3: It Should Be Believable (Optional)

I put this as optional because it is not always easy to come up with an affirmation that is believable. In fact, John Kehoe, who is a pioneer in the field of Mind Power, says that it is not necessary to believe in your affirmation in order for it to work.

What you should do instead, is to keep on repeating the affirmation to yourself even if you don’t believe it initially. When repeated enough times, the subconscious mind will eventually accept the new message and start to believe it.

In fact, forcing yourself to believe in your affirmation is often counter productive.

Of course, if possible, it doesn’t hurt to be able to come up with an affirmation that is believable. For the 2 rules above, we are using this affirmation “I am confident”.

According to some experts, this is not even the best affirmation. It can be better. Why is that so?

Well, when you say “I am confident”, you probably don’t believe yourself if you always have a problem with your confidence. Therefore, your subconscious mind may resist the message.

A much better affirmation will be something like “I am getting more and more confident everyday”.
This is definitely more believable and therefore more likely to be accepted by your subconscious mind.

As long as you are consistently doing something to improve your confidence, even if it is just by 0.1%, the affirmation will be believable.

But always remember, this is optional.

Affirmations You Should Never Use To Get Your Ex Back

Before you try to use affirmations to get your boyfriend back, it is important to understand that a healthy relationship is not about manipulation.

You may be tempted to use an affirmation such as “Mark is taking me back” or “Mark is begging me to take him back”.

Well, that is definitely not a good idea. To a certain extent, it can even be considered as a form of manipulation.

More importantly, you need to look at the kind of mindset you are adopting when you are using this type of affirmation. It basically screams “desperation”.

When you are in the state of desperation, The Law of Attraction is probably going to work against you.

A much better affirmation will be something like “I am attracting the right man into my life.”

How To Craft The Perfect Affirmation To Get Your Ex Back

In order to craft the perfect affirmation to get your ex back, other than following the rules recommended above, you are also encouraged to do a little bit of self reflection.

For example, if your ex break up with you because you were too desperate or clingy, a possible affirmation you can use is “I am a confident and secure woman.”

After all, your ex is unlikely to get back together with you if you are still the same old person. Therefore, the affirmation is meant to help you get rid of desperation.

You should also spend some time thinking about what you want in a relationship. For example, if you are the one who broke up with your ex because he is spending too much time at work and you feel neglected, you can say “My soul mate and I love spending quality time together.”

Using this affirmation, there are 2 possible scenarios.

Scenario 1: You manage to attract your ex back and this time round, he realizes how important you are and treat you as a priority in his life.

Scenario 2: You attract a new person into your life who simply can’t get enough of you.

Now, we need to talk about scenario 2 a little bit.

I know your intention is probably to get your ex back. You have no intention to attract a new partner. However, it is a good idea to keep your option open.

After all, your ex may not necessary be the best partner for you, even if you think he is. That is why I told you not to use affirmation such as “Mark is begging me to take him back.” It is simply not a good idea to attract the wrong person back into your life.

Consistency Is The Key

In order for affirmations to work, consistency is the key. It is better to do it for 5 minutes every single day rather than to do it for 10 hours in one day and skip the rest of the week.

It is just like brushing your teeth. Most people probably brush their teeth twice per day, taking a few minutes each time. They don’t spend hours brushing their teeth in one day and don’t do it for the next six days.

When it comes to timing, different people seem to have different opinion on this.

For example, in his book Mind Power Into The 21st Century, John Kehoe recommends doing a 5 to 10 minute session everyday for 30 to 90 days.

Scott Adams recommends writing down your affirmation 15 times everyday, for a minimum of 6 months.

Based on the 2 recommendations above, you can decide how much time you want to spend on affirmations. You can choose to follow one of them or you can even incorporate both of their practices.

For example, writing down your affirmation for 15 times may take you about 5 minutes. You can also consider spending another 5 minutes to speak out your affirmation in front of the mirror.

Don’t Overdo It

As mentioned above, consistency is the key. Don’t overdo it in the beginning.

For example, some people may get so excited that they do it for 30 minutes everyday for the first week. After the first week, they are no longer so enthusiastic and they stop doing it. This defeat the purpose.

I realized that people who get too excited in the beginning usually fizzle out way before the objective is achieved.

Don’t make the same mistake!

Give Yourself The Best Chance For Success

The Law of Attraction or affirmations should not be treated as magic. Don’t make the mistakes of thinking that all you need to do is to repeat your affirmations everyday and your ex will automatically come back to you.

You still need to take some action. For example, if you have been neglecting your physical appearance, it is time to do something about it. I am not trying to be shallow here but men are visual creatures after all.

All things being equal, your chances of getting your boyfriend back is going to be higher if you look much better than before the breakup.

Look at it this way, if you really want to get your boyfriend back, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes, as long as it is not manipulative and you think your boyfriend is worth the effort.

Did the law of attraction bring you here? If that is the case, sign up for my newsletter below! Who knows? With the information I share with you inside, you may be able to activate the law of attraction faster.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 50 comments

OldGal

hello there!! Based on the affirmation like saying positive things to make our subconscious mind believe it, can i say like “My soulmate and I are strong enough for this relationship,” or “Jimmy (my ex) and I love each other everyday”?
I’ve read in other website saying i have to pretend that me and ex already get back together for the affirmation to work. Can you give some feedback about this?

Mark

Affirmations can be a very personal thing.

How does saying “Jimmy and I love each other everyday” makes you feel? Does it make you feel good? Or does it make you feel bad?

If it makes you feel good, then by all means use it. However, if saying this affirmation makes you feel bad or even a tinge of desperation because you realize that you are not really together, then it is not a good affirmation to use.

Personally, I think it is better to affirm qualities that make you a more attractive woman. For example, if you used to be shy or have poor social skills, you may want to create affirmations about being bubbly and sociable.

It is also helpful to look at the reasons why your ex breaks up with you. What are qualities in you that your ex doesn’t like? Then you can try to create affirmations to target those qualities.

Sasha

Hi me and my partner have been together now 4 years and have a one and half year old daughter our relationship hasn’t been great but we have delt with it but Saturday he left for work and dint cum home! He did cum bk for a talk to c if we can work things out first of all he sed no then he sed he doesn’t no haven’t seen him in days he came round last night and we talked again bout contact with his daughter and I was saying things like maybe we will just take it slow step by step for now n he was agreeing we were laughing and joking and stuff soon as he left the house he changes doesn’t answer the phone or my txt but then when he’s here he completely different and I’m really torn I have been making an effort and he noticing but I don’t think he is guna cum home even when he sed I don’t no I’m so confused is he playing mind tricks? What do I do I need to think bout my daughter but I also want my man back please help me

Mark

What causes the relationship to reach this stage?

Dani

I am a strong believer in LOA. I have read so many stories of people who wanted to get there ex-lovers back and they did. I truly believe that it will happen for me as well.

My ex-lover and I were together for five months. It was short but it was well spent. We were in love and it was a wonderful relationship. There was never an argument or fight. It was extremely positive. The only thing is, I started having doubts. I started worrying that he would fall out of love with me for no particular reason, just that he wouldn’t love me anymore. These negative thoughts consumed me and I didn’t even realize it. I felt him becoming more distant and worried eve more. I reached the point where I felt he didn’t love me at all. I asked him and he said that he had fallen out of love with me. There was nothing bad hat happened between us. He just, didn’t feel it anymore. I was completely heartbroken and everything spiraled downwards. I will say that I hit desperation. — We still talk like nothing has ever happened and are good friends. I find it hard sometimes because I am still in love with him but I like that we are still connected. His family is like my other family. They love me and they support me. His mother said that in the short time I was there I made a great impact.

It’s been a little over three months that we have been split yet I find that my feelings grow stronger and stronger every time I see him. I know he is the one for me. Which is why refuse to let him go. It was my negative thoughts that brought the end of the relationship to me. So I know that positive thoughts will bring him back.

~Dani

Mark

It is also a good idea to work on awareness and acceptance that I mentioned in this article.

pragya

Hey mark m going through the worst phase of my life..i lost love of my life due to my negativity ..he has given me many chances but everytime again became the same negative person…but now I really want him back plz suggest

Mark

Work on the skills mentioned in this article.

harris

so my situation involves an ex girlfriend. we broke up a couple of months ago though have stayed in touch (i even spent the nite with her recently). Ironically enough it was a few weeks after I had considered breaking up with her because I was afraid she might not be who I wanted to be with (she is).

I dont, par se, have a problem in using affirmations. My Q is what those affirmations should be. Should I say “we are getting back together” (which I honestly believe) or should it be “I am attracting the best relationship”. The former is specific and the latter general.

What if I dont want it to be general? She is who I truly want. I know I could attract another girl, but dont want to. I want to get back with her and her alone.

Is being that specific about a person counter productive? should we be general and let everything else fall into place?

Mark

Try thinking along the line of what kind of person you need to become in order to attract your ex back. For example, if you have the tendency to get angry easily, then you obviously want to learn how to control your anger, so your affirmation can be something like “I am calm”.

Mayank

Hi ,
I was in 7 years relationship with my girlfriend. Before some time (approx 1 year), she was talking with a guy whom i didn’t like, Guy was trying to get close to her and she didn’t told me about that. One day i read her texts and came to know about this thing. After that i scolded her too many times for this reason like ‘i didn’t trust you blah blah’ but she felt sorry for this. Last month we again had fight and i again insulted her for that reason. she made breakup with me. she said she don’t want to continue this relationship anymore if we don’t have trust on each other. Now, she’s not talking with me respect anymore. I am feeling too much guilt in me. I felt appologise too many times for this. I have been trying to get her back every day. But, How much i am forcing her get back she is going that much far away from me. I am thinking about her every second. I really want her back in my life. Now i realized how much i trust her. How much i love her. I have only 3 months with me. After that her parets marry her to someone else and she will not protest against this. Please help me how can i proceed further?? I can’t live without her, Atleast i don’t want to break my relationship with this bullshit reason. After she broke up with me, she is again in rebound relationship with some new guy. She talk to him whole day and night. I can’t see this. I want her back anyhow.

—
Thanks & Regards
Mayank Chauhan

Mark

She is resistant towards you now. Therefore, no matter how many times you apologize, it is not going to work. As for what to do, you can read this article.

You can also sign up for my newsletter. Although the newsletter seems to be for women, it is also very relevant to men trying to get their ex girlfriend back.

3 months is a bit short. So you need to start working on the skills mentioned in my articles as soon as possible so that you will be emotionally ready to reach out to her faster.

sara

I have been doing all the relational skills on the esp program. I have also been building my confidence and creating new hobbies I enjoy. However after 2 months, I still have had a conversation with my ex. I recently ran into loa sites and derided that I’m going to try that. I believe that it can happen and that my ex and I will eventually be together after we learn what the universe or god wants us to learn. I was wondering how your experiments were working out for you? Do you find some things work better than others? Should I have a big goal and vision then smaller goals and visions as well?

For example should my big goal be to be in a healthy fun and living relationship with my ex. Then smaller goals of we will have a text communication that is positive and fun. Then we run into each other by chance and have a good encounter. Etc.

Can you have more than one big goal at the same time or is it better to focus on one thing? Can I have a wait loss goal and the goal to get my ex back simultaneously?

Mark

Well, based on my personal experience, I think LOA only works if it is backed by action.

For example, I have used LOA to win a humorous speech contest. Basically, I kept on visualizing myself making people laugh and getting the trophy. Of course, I also put in a lot of effort to prepare my script and practiced my speech countless times.

On the other hand, I have also tried using LOA to win the lottery. Unfortunately, it never happened.

So I would say you can use LOA to inspire yourself to take the necessary action in order to help you achieve your goals. I think you can definitely work on 2 goals simultaneously. After all, getting your ex back and weight loss are not mutually exclusive. Put it this way. Both goals require self discipline. So working on one goal may actually indirectly help you with the other goal.

For example, losing weight can help you gain confidence in yourself. That confidence can help you with getting your ex back to a certain extent. The key is that you don’t just rely on visualization alone. You need to take the right action as well.

caj

My bf of 3 years broke up with me because he was afraid of the life-long commitment to me and the idea of marriage scared him sice he is only 20 years old. We also had a long distance relationship so I no longer speak to him or am able to see him since we are now broken up. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Could this still work for me? :(

melissa

hello, i was dating a guy that i really liked and one day i just called him drunk and i called him a douche and i apologized and he hasnt gotten back at me.. how can it work for me?

Mark

How long have you been dating him?

Clare

Hi Mark,

I had a fling with a good friend of mine that was never meant to last, and he went his way (to an ex-girlfriend and later broke up), but I was left stuck because I had fallen in love with him. Basically I am his closest friend and he, mine. He knows how I feel but has not done anything to establish a romantic relationship with me. Since the “fling” I also started seeing someone else but broke it off because I realized I couldn’t love this other person.
I feel that we are meant to be but he seems unsure or scared (he keeps joking to me that we should get married; and if ever he dated me, it would be for life).
I have not made it explicitly clear that I want to date him because I am afraid of rejection and appearing vulnerable. After me, he moved on way too fast and seemed to have ‘suddenly’ lost his interest in me. That is why I am not too sure about making my intentions known.
Should I fight for him or let him go…..is my biggest dilemma.
Thanks :)

Mark

In life, there are times where you will have to take risk in order to get what you want. That doesn’t necessary mean you will get what you want if you take the risk. However, it is guaranteed that you won’t get what you want if you don’t.

This is also applicable to relationship. You have to be willing to risk rejection and be vulnerable. Take the risk and you still have a chance to get him. If you don’t take the risk, then you are not going to get him. As simple as that.

Of course, you can also wait for him to take action. But don’t bank on it. What if he doesn’t? Are you going to wait for him forever?

Look at it this way. Even if his answer is no, you don’t have to take it personally. Don’t view rejection too personally. I know it is going to hurt if he says no. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t mean you are not worthy or anything. It simply means he doesn’t want to be together with you or is not sure whether he wants to be together with you, at least for now. You don’t have to attach any meaning to it.

So my suggestion is just go and fight for it. At least give it a try so that you will not end up with regrets for not even trying. Tell him your feelings and throw the ball to his court. Be prepared and willing to accept whatever outcome graciously.

lerato

hi mark im a woman whos dating another women.so my ex left me a week ago we work at the same place last week monday we aparted at work in a well way in the evening of monday i texted her and asked her whats going on between us i feel the cold air like i kept trying all the time for keeping our relationship stable and she said we dont exist she doesnt want this she doesnt want a relationship but hours ago before i asked her whats happening between us she told me how much she loved me i really love her and id like to get her back and iv been working on my confidence im smart and happy inside so what more can i do? or what words should i use?

Mark

She is probably feeling confused now. Give her some time to think about things. Unfortunately, there are no magic words that will help you get her back. You need to work on connecting with her emotionally. For now, accept the breakup. Don’t push her to explain anything or ask her to get back together. It will only push her further away.

Getting an ex back is a process. Don’t try to achieve it overnight. Take it step by step. Leave her alone for the time being and let the tension settle down first. Then slowly start to reconnect with her again, making sure the interaction is without pressure. That means no talking about the relationship or getting back together during the first meeting.

johnathan

hi ,
this is for females but i just wanna ask in case this applies for males too …..
my gf and i broke up about 3 weeks ago and she told me not to text or call her…i did text and call her for 2 weeks but then i stopped since she did not like it….now there is like 0 contact…..and one of my friends who is close to her cousin told me that she likes another man…and she will be telling him how she feels about him in about a week…i feel its a rebound…but what ever it is i want her back very bad cause i thought a lot about it and i truly love her with all my heart…..
please advice next step and all the things i can do to get her back…..

Mark

Yes, actually the articles on my blog are relevant to both men and women.

First, you must not try to break her rebound relationship or interrogate her about it. In fact, you may even want to be supportive about her new relationship. I know this sound a little bit controversial. But the fact is, you want to show her that you respect her decision and if that is really what she wants and it makes her happy, you will be happy for her.

If you try to break her new relationship, she will resist you more and even if the rebound ends, she will blame you and will not get back together with you.

Of course, right now, she doesn’t even want to talk to you. So you have no choice but to let her me and go no contact. But don’t waste this period of no contact. Take this time to improve your relationship skills. This article will give you some ideas of what you need to do.

If you are worried about her dating another guy, maybe this article will help to allay your fear. It is relevant for men too.

johnathan

thanks a lot mark…..and btw she doesnt know that i know that she likes this guy and all that….one of her friends told me that who is close to both of us and i trust her…..well there is like i said absolute 0 contact…..so yeah i will go into no contact for now….but i would like to know what to do after the no contact…like the details of what all must i do…..i am confused right now and it would be nice if you could help me out cause i really love this woman with all the heart i have and want her back real bad…..

johnathan

also i dont even know if its a rebound or no !! :(

Talia Reeves

Hi Mark,
My ex broke up with me, and we work together in the same company but not in the same building. I am very confident and I do believe that he will return.
However I wrote to him a letter after a month. with no contact from that month, stating how I felt. He never replied. But now I feel that things can only get better
How do I attract the law of attraction with this?

Mark

Hi Talia,

You shouldn’t just rely on law of attraction alone to get your ex back. Put it this way. Law of attraction is more like the icing rather than the cake.

After all, you can use all the laws of attraction you want but if you are using the wrong methods, you are still not going to get your boyfriend back.

If you didn’t realize, you have already made a mistake by sending him a letter stating how you feel.

You are still in Phase 1. He is still very resistant towards you. By sending him a letter and overwhelming him with your feelings, you are just making him resist you more. That is why he didn’t reply you.

I suggest that you sign up for my newsletter. On day 11 of my newsletter, you will receive information about the 5 phases of saving your relationship. Once you learned about the 5 phases, you will start to understand why sending him a letter stating how you feel is a mistake.

I am all for using the law of attraction such as creating your own vision board etc. However, it should also be supported by the right knowledge and proper methods.

By the way, I am not trying to make you feel bad or spoil your hope. I am just trying to help you see that it is important to be practical and realistic when it comes to getting your ex back.

When you start learning the right knowledge and proper methods to get your ex back, you are going to have a higher chance of getting your ex boyfriend back. Your hope starts to become real. This is the cake. Law of attraction is just the icing to make the cake taste and look better.

Myra

Hi Mark,

I just got done reading your article above. Very well crafted. Somehow, I believe you can really help me get out of my present situation.

Well I have been in a relationship with this guy for 7 months who was working in the same office but eventually moved in other company. Our relationship became stronger once he shifted to another company. He has truly loved me but he is really temperamental. Once he gets angry, he doesn’t see what’s right or what’s wrong. This is the main reason why I stopped arguing with him and continued to love him unconditionally.

Even though we love each other, he never speaks his heart out with me which is also something I have learned to accept.

But he continued to shout at me for no reason and this time when I gave the same behavior back to him,he has broken up with me and because his anger dominates him completely, he is not willing to return back to me at any cost.

I know for a fact that till the time we were together, even if it was for mere 7 months, I have firm belief that he was pretty serious for me and loved me truly. Even though he might be stuck at not coming back to me ever again, I know its his anger speaking and not what he really wants.

I have also tried pleading him to at least maintain a normal friendship but he is not showing any interest for the same either. He is not willing to meet me even for 5minutes. He is just adamant in getting separated and I cant brace myself for such a major setback.

This is why I want to take the help of LOA in bringing him back to my life. This guy is my biggest weakness and I cannot at any cost survive without him. I am ready to do everything to bring him back. Please help me.

Mark

Hi Myra,

Are you really sure you want a man who shout at you for no reason?

I am all for acceptance. After all, no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. You should definitely learn to accept your partner’s flaws if they are not such a big deal or deal breakers to you.

However, I don’t think “shouting for no reason” is anything minor. It shows a lack of respect, which I think is a very important ingredient for a healthy and loving relationship.

Sure, you can get back together with him. But are you truly happy to be shouted at every time he is unhappy? Is that the kind of relationship you truly want? Is that the kind of relationship you want to attract?

Crystal

Hey Mark,

I know this article is about LOA, but you seem to give good relationship advice as well, so hoping for a response with some help with my situation.

Our relationship was a year and a half, and still after 2 years of being split up, I can’t get over how perfect he was for me. When he tried to sit down with me one day to tell me he wasnt happy with the way things were, I over reacted, got defensive, said some mean things, and implied he should just move out… So he did… After that, we tried to work things out, and in fear of losing him, I became super clingy and desperate, and just kept begging him to move back. He withdrew more and more until he finally just cut off all communication. I withdrew for awhile, but every few months would send an email, and he would just give a super short reply. Its been a year since my last email trying to create some sort of friendship with him, he declined a friendship with me (while also reassuring me how much I meant to him), saying we have nothing positive to provide for one another.

Im not ready to give up. I want him to see the improvements Ive made in my life. But I told him I respected his decision and wouldn’t contact him again… What can I do? I already think positive thoughts about him and us almost on a daily basis.

Mark

Could it be the way you are reaching out to him that is causing him to resist you? What email did you send him every few months?

Even a friendship can be too much for him especially if his last impression of you wasn’t that good. He might think that you have some ulterior motive, as in using friendship as a backdoor to try and get him back. That is probably why he may be resisting you even after months.

Just want to make sure you are not asking too much from him too soon.

Jane

Hey,

My boyfriend and I were in a ldr for 2 years and 2 months. We broke up in April 2015. We were in contact. At first, we were so angry with each other that we always argue. After a few months, it got better. We saw each other a few times. One time he called me and the next time I called him. After that, nothing happened and there were a few times we met accidentally. When we were in contact for a few days it was ok and then he just got mad and stop responding. This year in January, we got together again. We talked a bit but he was so scared because of the distance but we got into a relationship again anyway. A week ago, we had a fight again and he told me he does not care anymore etc. Should I contact him? And is it possible that he got scared because of the same problems and distance? Thank you so much.

Mark

Very likely. He probably decided to quit because of the same old problems. That is why I wrote this article and said that it is extremely important to improve and change yourself first before trying to get back together with your ex. Otherwise, the relationship will not last.

If you want the relationship to last, you have to change the relationship dynamics. The only way for the relationship dynamics to change is for either one of you to change. Since you have no control over your ex, you can only change yourself. Even if you contact him right now, if nothing has changed, it is pointless. If every time you contact him, it leads to an argument, he is going to be more and more convinced that the relationship won’t work.

So make sure you put in the work to improve yourself first before contacting him again. Work on the skills I mentioned in that article.

Frenchco

I currently use the Law of Attraction to get my ex back.

I read around the web that it wasn’t good to attract people by LOA. But I had a hard path in my life and I turned very negative. Only focusing on my problems without having regard on the positives I already have.

After the split up, I started to meditate and understood that I was responsible because my heart was closed.

Now I am asking for a second chance because I don’t want to be blinded anymore from Love. I want to love and to share all around.

Hopefully it will work. But I feel I am evolving.

Mark

Good to hear that you are evolving. You may want to read this article as well and practiced the exercises mentioned.

lee sa

Hi Mark,

If you could advise me here; me and my ex broke up last year, i suppose we had trust issues – she said she didn’t feel like a priority, she went on a holiday a week after we broke up, and when she came back she deleted and blocked me from everything. this was hard and I tried to prove what she meant to me. (looking bk i think she was with someone on the holiday)

I used to look at her social media and from this decided she was seeing someone else so i left things – she then contacted me and made out she wasn’t , I didn’t believe her and we stopped talking again. This went on for months and i found out she was lying –

the next time we got back talking she admitted she was lying but said she was never over me, I told her i still loved her. I called me all the time but wouldn’t say it back, she made out she was scared to trust me again in case she didn’t feel like a priority again.

We talked for months and i kept saying she wasn’t ready to share her feelings – I started to question her motives and thought she was still talking to that girl she had been with, when i checked her phone i realized she had.

She is not talking to me now for invading her privacy, and i feel annoyed at myself for looking at her phone, but I am also annoyed that she wasn’t just out straight with me, it had been so long I thought if i was open with my feelings she would be also.

Now I have a feeling she is just gone back to that girl, and I only have myself to blame, I don’t know if it is a good idea to try contact her or what to do ?

Mark

Have you read this article? The information in the article is not just for heterosexual relationship only. It is also very relevant to homosexual relationship. Read the article and try to apply the tips you learned in your situation. By taking the time to improve your relationship skills, it will increase your ability to get her to open up. As a result, you are more likely to connect with her on a deeper emotional level. When you are able to do that, your are going to have a higher chance to get back together with her.

Flavia

I am glad I have found this page.
My boyfriend of 11 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. The reason was because he saw me chatting with a man that I got to know way back while I was playing online video games on a game console. He saw our chats and broke up after it. Me and this other guy did not have any type on intimacy. He lives in USA and I live in Germany. Now my Ex think that I cheated on him and that I lied to him. I admit that I have sent 2 pictures of myself to him, one from the shoulders to the head and another one from my legs on the water from the knees to the feet. My ex since then broke up the contact to me completely. Today he wrote me a message that I should not try to contact him and act like we don’t know each other if we see each other somewhere. I tried to contact him since then but his phone were off most of the time and he did not even picked up the phone. I wanted to talk about it but he totally blocked me. He now doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. It hurts. I own the mistake I did and I would like him to give me a chance to show him that I did not cheat. I wish I could make things right again. Can that be fixed? Can the LOA help me in this situation?

Flavia

I want to add something:

Me and this guy were having a normal conversation, nothing flirty, nothing over the top.

Mark

You can’t just rely on LOA alone and think your ex back. You also need to take action and do something constructive. As for what you need to do in order to save your relationship, you can read this article to learn what you need to focus on in order to increase your chances of getting your ex back.

Nina

Hi, I’ve been using the loA to manifest love for a specific person, I’m doing all the recommended exercises like working on myself, sending heart energy, writing journals, affirmations, visualization, but i find it a bit difficult to let go. So I thought maybe flirting with other guy would make my mind off my ex. But im afraid that it may send a mixed msg to the universe that I don’t want him anymore.
What do you suggest, continue flirting with another guy or focusing on my ex??

Mark

Well, I am not an expert in the law of attraction. Since you ask, I will just give you my opinion. Take it with a pinch of salt.

In my opinion, it may not be a good idea to use the law of attraction for a specific person. Because when you are focusing on one particular person, you will tend to feel needy. Neediness is unlikely going to attract good things into your life.

You may want to focus on attracting love into your life instead without being too attached to one particular person. Who knows? Maybe you will attract him back or maybe someone much better and more compatible with you.

It will be helpful if you spend some time thinking about what you are looking for in a man. What are the deal breakers? Write them down. This is more likely to help you attract the right man into your life.

It is also important to be practical and not just rely on the law of attraction alone. In order to increase your chances of getting your ex back or to have a great relationship, you need various relationship skills.

So you need to spend time cultivating these relationship skills as well. I believe that the law of attraction will only work if you also take constructive action. Just sitting there, visualizing and using affirmations is not going to help if you are not taking any action.

A good place to start is to read my article, “What it really takes to get your ex boyfriend back”. This article will give you a good idea of what you need to focus on so that you can increase your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

Traeahna

Hello Mark I was together with my boyfriend for six months . one day i told him that I felt like we were going to break up and shorty after we DID. I knew it was me that caused the break up because i had attracted the negative energy. I did not want us to end at all I just said that and it happened . I was so desperate to get him back. I called psychics and all that to see if he was coming back and I realized that wasn’t right to do because I believe in god but again that’s how desperate I was .I would see if he was looking on my Facebook or snap chat and I also made a fake facebook just to see If he cared about still. About a few weeks later I found out that he was dating a girl and My heart sank . I was Sad but I kept informing myself that he was coming back. Still today I believe in my heart that he is coming back even though he is dating someone new. In the long run me and him will be back together. I just know it. ASK+BELIEVE AND RECEIVE !. you must continue to have faith even when it seems like theirs not anything that can happen trust in god and the universe that your desire is on its way. My life has been blessed so well I now not worry about anything ! I’m happy all the time now and its all thanks to the law of attraction (god) !

Mark

You may want to go deeper than that. Don’t be too obsessed with the law of attraction that you get out of touch with reality.

For example, you mentioned that one day, you felt like you were going to break up. Why did you feel that way in the first place? You may want to figure this out. There must be a reason whether it is due to your past baggage or due to your ex’s behavior.

Try to work on your awareness like what I mentioned in this article.

When you are more aware, you are less likely to repeat the same pattern over and over again and sabotage yourself.

Alicia

Hi!
So my ex and I broke up 7-8 months ago and it was complete hell for me. We dated for a year. It was great but we had some issues. We broke up because I was insecure and continuously questioned his loyalties. (I’m only 20 so I’m still immature). I fought for him for about a month, until I had no choice to let go. I was completely hopeless and devastated. I promise you that this man is really the love of my life. I think that made it harder. I went to therapy for MONTHS. Trying to change my issues because I was a psychological mess. I am much stronger now and less anxious. After 3 months of being broken up, I messaged him and he didnt seem to want to talk/see me. So I let it go for good. Until I stumbled upon this website. I used the law of attraction but I didnt get my hopes up. 6 months after being broken up he came back into my life with the intentions of getting back together. I was so happy. However, we argued a few times (nothing serious, each was a misunderstanding) and began to get scared and pulled away. Eventually he told me he had a hard time trusting me and that his guard will always be up and nothing will be the same and he didnt see it working out and that it was not the best thing for him. We both cried a little and didnt talk for a while and then he told me he really wanted to be friends. We’ve been communicating every day and everything was going fine, until one day we got into an argument and he said that this was the reason we werent getting back together. Although it wasnt that big of a deal, these little moments of bickering really affect him. I think its because all the negativity of our old relationship is clouding his judgement. We are great for each other, everyone knows this. I have never had so much support to try to get someone back. I love him and I really hope it isnt too late. Do you think I can use the law of attraction again and make things work?

Mark

Well, to a certain extent, younger people do tend to be more immature. With that said, age is not the only factor that affects maturity. Experience and knowledge also play a part.

So there are definitely things you can do to increase your maturity. What you need here is not the law of attraction. It is relationship skills.

You can sit in your room the whole day and visualize your ex getting back together with you. However, without the necessary relationship skills, a breakup is still going to happen.

So spend your time wisely. Go to the library and find some good books that teach you various relationship skills. Alternatively, you can sign up for a good program that actually teaches you the necessary skills to get your ex back.

Visualization can definitely be helpful but only if you actually take action and learn the skills to help you improve your relationship.

The law of attraction only works if you take the right action. Otherwise, you are just wasting your own time engaging in wishful thinking.

Hi mark,
I just had a break up the other day , I told him I don’t want to be with him because he was smoking and I didn’t like it. We been together for almost two years. I don’t understand why he didn’t want to at least try to make things work. I am thinking he might see me soon to say he misses me and is sorry. We are suppose to have couples counseling today but I don’t know if he will try to be there even though be had a breakup .I still want to be with him and is it okay to think he will make a effort tell me he doesn’t want to breakup?.

Lasse

Hi Mark.
Thx for your article first of all.
My girl and I was together for 1,5 year, until she suddenly broke up over a text message back in late September.
She told me she needed a break. Back then I made all the wrong decisions. Texted her, begged and pleaded.
So after a week, she said she couldn’t see a future with me anymore and thought we should break up.
So she did.
About a month later she began seeing another guy and is still with him.
She blocked me on every possible this girl there is to block. So I have zero contact with her now.
I really want her back and have been using loa since late December and I truly feel we belong together and that our journey isn’t over.
I’ve worked hard on my self. I script, doing affirmations and visualisations. I read a lot of LoA books. I try to keep positive and grateful every day.
But as I haven’t heard from her, as tend to get low from time to time.
Do you think there’s still a chance of us getting back together, even when the situation is like this. With no contact at all and blocked on eveything?

Mark

How about emails? Or mutual friends?

Maybe she is ok with you contacting her now, just that she has forgotten to unblock you.

Try reaching out to her just to connect with each other. Don’t mention anything about the relationship or getting back together. If you have been blocked on all channels, try mutual friends.

If you don’t try, you will never know.

Roxanne

Hi Mark,

thank you for your work, it helped me a lot. My ex bf and I were dating over a one year, half a year living together. Everyting just went amazing, his family took me in as one of them, we were just finishing up with the apartment works. He was even planning on buying us a new one, kept searching for it. I have had a very bad time changing the jobs, and I had been quite unlucky with them. I come from a small village in the mountains and moved to the big city to be with him. I have been very sad and could not get happy living the city life, missing my home and family, could not find a fine job. I also tend to have very negative thoughts and spend last two weeks crying in our apartment having troubles at work, in family and some health issues. One day I went to see my family and I got a call out of the blue, saying its better for us to separate. He told me to go back home as I love nature and he loves the city. I have been devasted. It is now two weeks with NC. The more days I take, the more I love him. Although he did the breakup very coldly, I could see he was hurting too, there is no anger in me. I truly believe we belong together. He meditates often, I never dared to do it because I was scared I cannot do it and he will think less of me. I want to fight with all my heart and fix the negativities on my side and find the happiness within. I am not sure, if I should approach him already. He did not said anything nasty to me, nor he was shouting. All our stuff is in the apartment, both of us took the basics and went to family houses.

How To Get Your Ex Back With The Law Of Attraction

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